How would you feel if you discovered that you had been conceived by unknown "donors"?

One young woman described how she felt upon learning her origin:

... In a single day, I went from looking at my appearance without second thought, to looking at a stranger. I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I caught myself looking at my hand and thinking about why it looks the way it does. My hands don’t really resemble my mother’s hands, so now I am left wondering if someone out there has these same hands.

I have never looked like my family, but wasn’t all too concerned with it. I would pry at my parents about whether or not I could have been adopted or mixed up in the hospital room. My parents would joke back, saying they found me in a log on the beach. I now felt like this was more true than ever. Even my connection to my mother felt weak. Although it doesn’t make any sense, I feel as though I am a complete stranger to myself and to the family I have always known and loved. I feel like an outsider, regardless of the logistics.

I know about the 5 stages of grief. First comes denial and isolation, followed by anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I see myself muddling through these stages, but the order is completely messed up. At some moments I feel normal and completely accepting. Other times I feel angry, not even at anyone or anything in particular. I feel sad, alone, confused, and lost at times, while other times I feel nothing at all. I am on a roller coaster of emotions and I am not even sure why. I don’t like that I am suddenly grieving a person that I do not know or care to ever know. More importantly, I feel as though I am grieving myself... Read more

The Coalition Against Reproductive Trafficking is on a mission: to protect human life and dignity by working to end all Third Party Reproduction, most urgently surrogacy, and to educate the public about the harms.

This video introduces an original ballad written and sung by Kevin Staudt who was donor conceived. It is powerful and haunting.

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